By the way....

Currently Pecos Crossing By Elmer Kelton see related

Shut up, brain!

So, it's 3 a.m. and I'm wide awake.  Okay, so it's only 2:47 a.m.  But you get the point.  I almost went to bed at 11.  I was sleepy and everything.  But somehow, while I was washing face/brushing teeth/etc, hubby woke up the baby.  ARGH!  She has been sleeping through the night for a couple of months, now.  He tried rocking her to sleep, but that hardly ever works.  So I nursed her.  She went to sleep.  I laid her down.  She woke up crying as soon as she was down.  I tried rubbing her back for a while.  She just kept crying and working herself up even more.  So I picked her up, held her snug and rocked her.  She passed out cold.  Repeat the waking part.  I patted her back.  Rubbed her back.  Tried rolling her ONTO her back.  Put her back on her belly.  Rubbed her head.  Finally just backed off and let her fuss at herself for a few minutes.  In the end, I picked her back up and rocked her while nursing.  As soon as she latched on, she was out cold.  I stopped rocking and let her nurse/sleep/nurse/sleep for about 10 minutes and finally got her to lay down. 

Whew!  Glad that was over, but by then I was wide awake.  So I figured I would read a little to make me sleepy.  Hubby has an issue with me reading when he is trying to sleep.  Just so you know, he has no such issue when the situation is reversed.  (Neither do I, but that is besides the bitchy point I am trying to make. lol)  He tossed, he turned, he huffed, he puffed.  I got frustrated and threw back the covers, grabbed my book/water/monitor, and went into the living room.  He followed me in to get some water, not even realizing I was pissed til he was walking back to bed.  I was even more awake, then.  Especially since a fight two nights ago is not yet resolved.  I finished my book after taking a cig break outside.  Reading in the cold does NOT help one get sleepy, in the event you were wondering.  I finished the book, random searched the few people I still have yet to find from random past events, looked at a few xanga blogs that were recommended to me, and now here I blog. 

Time has changed so much in the past 3 years.  I never would have seen myself here 3 years ago.  At least, not this soon.  I read back in my posts and realize how much I have grown.  Or gotten boring.  Not sure which. haha.  I had humorous drama to write about before.  Now the drama is just drama.  Boring crap you could watch on any Dr. Phil show.  Cliche' husband and wife crap that you have heard about for centuries.  (Actually, if you've been hearing about things for centuries, you must have some interesting stories to tell.  Congratulations on keeping up with technology.)

I am a momma, now.  And not just to all the 4-legged, furry creatures that have stood by me all these years.  To an actual human child.  There is no more daily story telling of the multitude of guys in and out of my life.  Hell, I don't really even have a job to tell about anymore.  I work very occasionally.  Talking about my kid on here just seems a little like the obnoxious person who won't put away the 5 billion pics of her precious, prodigious, pestiferous little child.  (I will still talk about her once in a while - as in the opening paragraph - but I will try to keep my annoying mommy-isms to myself.)  Talking about my marital issues just seems...I don't know...trite? 

I guess there is only one solution.  To get myself a life and find something to blog about.  Having typed this much, I remember that blogging - actually typing out my issues - helps me to see the humor in them and not take life so seriously.  So far, I have started guitar lessons, am 10 lbs under what I was when I got preggo, picked up a client and will soon start finding some more things to do to help me remember how fun the outside world can be.

Join me, folks, as I journey back into the real world while still reveling in my wonderful mommyhood.

P.S. - I didn't say I wouldn't write about the hubby and the baby.  After all, they are the main part of my life.  I just will try to not make it ALL about that. haha.

Howdy, ya'll.  Just for blog's sake, I'm blogging!  But only a short entry to say that, after reading thru EVERY xanga post in my profile, I miss the old me a little.  And so much has changed.  Just to give you a quick update: I got married in April 2007 to a friend of 8 years; in May 2008, we had a beautiful baby girl; I am self-employed (but not working at the moment so I can spend all my free time with the munchkin,) as a dog trainer and do pretty well at it when I'm working; baby's first Christmas is coming up; RLB is so far out of the picture I only bring him up because he was a major story line for a while; and I now live 10 mere minutes from my beloved Guad.

I would like to pick back up blogging on here, but am not making any promises.  Hope everyone who still lurks around here is doing great. 

Oh, quick update on the FC thing.  He and I don't talk as much anymore.  He has turned back into the party boy that got him into so much trouble in the first place.  He doesn't hang out with any of the Cheers crew anymore, really.  All of his friends on myspace are all mostly chicks in their early to mid 20's who live off nothing but partying for the most part.  He is still unemployed and his sisters and parents are enabling him to be the person he is.  I feel bad for him and resent him all at the same time. 

T-Bird found out about me and FC about 2 months ago.  She confronted me on it.  I tried to explain but she didn't wanna hear it.  She basically said that she was mad at first but then realized that she shouldn't be and that we weren't exaclty friends.  That her TRUE friends would know not to do that.  So we were cool.  I still feel awkward around her and don't expect that to change anytime soon.  I feel like shit that she found out, it wasn't from me and that the whole experience was for naught.  I like to think that I'm a good friend and thought that Tracey and I were friends.  But not TRUE friends, I guess.  That one hurt. 

JP and I still hang out, but not as much as before. Not because of the FC thing, but because I couldn't take drinkin 6 days a week and because of the 15 lbs I gained in about 4 months from it.  We are cool. 

All in all, everything has turned out okay.  Hey, it all happens for a reason, right?  I'm not sure what lesson I was supposed to learn from the whole FC experience, but it just burned down my trust level a little more. Which is hard to believe considering what JT did to it last year!!!  That's a whole other story for another day.  Long story short, one of the girls (the one with his kid) kept JT.  Now, a year later, he decides he doesn't wanna grow up and be a man just yet and wants to start fuckin 17 year olds.  So I have been hanging out with.....let's call her Kat.  Now that she is seein someone else, JT has decided that he made a mistake and wants to be a grown up and maybe even get married.  She is considering it.  She is still my friend so I have to respect her decision, but that doesn't mean I won't try to talk her out of it.